


Gaslight

by iArgent



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Da2 didn't really happen here. Or if it did it involves different people, Gaslighting, Happy Nate, Humorous in a I'm going to hell way, M/M, Nate thinking he's insane, Perceived male surana/Nate that isn't rue at all, Warden family, Zevran being a jealous idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 09:17:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6900142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iArgent/pseuds/iArgent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathaniel Howe is an integral part of the Ferelden Wardens. Jorah Surana heads the Ferelden Wardens. Jorah is also Nathaniel's best friend.</p><p>Zevran Arainai can get a bit dumb when he's jealous, cunning, but dumb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gaslight

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still procrastinating, so sue me.
> 
> (Don't actually. I have no money and I'm passionate about not starving to death.)
> 
> I have ideas for Into the Shadows, so that's going anyway. Jump started my muse!

Nathaniel’s first clue that something was off was a misplaced dagger. He was, according to…everybody, quite strict in where his armor and weapons rested when he set them down. His poison and bomb reagents had specific places on their shelf, his armor needed to be arranged a specific way, and his weapons had very specific spots they would be set down for the night.

It wasn’t like he reacted badly to them being moved, it was just frustration. So naturally, Anders shifted them a little sometimes just to piss him off.

 Okay, no big deal. It was possible Sigrun took it as a joke. Haha. It was probably under his bed or some such rubbish, but he wasn’t going to debase himself scrounging over his room until he found it, thus providing the miscreant with the satisfaction that he’d actually done it.

He shook his head and brushed his hair from his face. Turning and resolutely dressing, braiding his hair back from his face as usual, slipping into comfortable, practical breeches and a tunic, and securing his belt with a backup set of daggers he kept in his wardrobe in case of this exact situation. He was one of Arl Surana’s most trusted advisors, he was instrumental in running the arling, and nothing was going to keep him from his best friends side, certainly not a dagger. He’d ask the other Wardens later. Perhaps let Jorah Surana glare a bit. It expedited things.

 

“Those aren’t the usual.” Jorah murmured as they walked to the throne room. They always met at the same time in one of the interconnecting halls on these days. Nate walked in a few steps behind his Commander, and they got to work, satisfied all noble requirements had been met.

“One of the set you gave me was missing this morning, didn’t have time to look around.”

Surana sighed “I mean, technically they’re all from me. That’s just your favorite set. Today is the last of the noble work for the foreseeable future, and we’re done by midday. You can grill your brothers and sisters at dinner when we’re all together.”

Nathaniel snorted “Yes father.”

“I will backhand you.”

“You won’t.”

“Okay fine. Just…be good.”

 

Dinner rolled around with remarkable speed. They’d had just enough busywork to keep them entertained, and then it was done. Jorah got to be Commander Surana, and not Arl Surana now. A position he enjoyed much more.

“Evening Nate.” Anders grumbled, sliding into the seat next to him. “You sleep okay?”

Usually, Anders would have known that. But for the last three weeks they’d been in separate rooms with all the noble bullshit involved with the aftermath of the Darkspawn Incursion. Apparently that took roughly a year to sink in, and only now was Ferelden reacting. According to Jorah, King Alistair was facing a shit storm in Denerim, but because of him the Wardens were in pretty good standing.

“One of my daggers is missing.” Nate mused after a moment “I’m trying to work out who took or hid it.”

“That sucks Nate. I hope you find it.”

Nathaniel smirked. Anders had clearly just crawled out of some project, and hadn’t had time to affix his sarcastic personality on.

“Thank you.”

Anders loaded up his plate with whatever was on the table. A few unfamiliar dishes finding small amounts on his plate as well. Nate, ever loyal, also added some of the strange food to his plate. As circle mages, Anders and Jorah had never experienced much in the way of outside life. Anders repeated escapes helped him a bit, but he was still a novice to mage freedom. Jorah, having been conscripted by the Wardens, had spent all his free time eating charred rabbits and killing anything that moved, while trying to stop his party from killing everything. He had then spent about three months in Denerim, suddenly eating real, confusing, high class food, then gained his own arling, and was suddenly responsible for trade routes, and taxes. Jorah was a good man, and was trying just as hard as his friend Alistair to fit his station, but he wanted a bit more. As such he’d hired three cooks and told them to one, keep the kitchen running every hour of the day and night because Wardens, and two, find something new and interesting for meals the world over. No bugs, cruelty or pets, were really the only rules. Cruelty and bugs meant they didn’t have much in the way of Orleasian entrees, but the desserts were top notch.

“Hot, hot, Maker it’s hot!” Anders gasped, diving for his goblet and downing the contents.

Nate tilted his head “Makers blood what did you eat?”

Gasping yet, Anders pointed at a bowl of unidentified sauce and vegetables next to some rice.

“Did you mix it with the rice?”

Anders shook his head, refilling his goblet and taking another long drink.

“Was it good tasting and hot, or just burning?”

By now the other Wardens had finished whatever they were doing and sat in their usual spots, watching Anders, who was bright red, in curiosity.

Jorah slid into his seat on Nate's opposite side. “It’s Tevinter, or so the cook tells me. Curry.”

Nate nodded and slowly added some rice and the strange vegetable sauce to his plate while everybody else tucked into their own food.

“Tevinter?” Velanna scoffed “Why would we want anything to do with that horrid place?”

Jorah rolled his shoulders, sneaking a bite of the rice from Nate’s plate and pursing his lips, going for his goblet. Once he’d drained two he looked to the Dalish woman “Because the food didn’t do anything to us and it’s praised the world over.”

Velanna grumbled and added some rice to her plate, and a drop of the sauce with what appeared to be coated broccoli. One bite in and she was swearing to the Eldest of the Sun and downing three goblets.

Naturally, that meant Sigrun, Oghren and Nate as well as Varel, Garevel and Woolsey were the only ones who hadn’t tried. Varel took a bite, chewed, nodded and took more. Jorah rolled his eyes fondly at the Seneschal, Woolsey and Garevel ended up in their goblets.

Nate took an experimental bite and smiled. It was very good. Sigrun was already trying to get more on her plate, and Oghren had taken more and was calling everybody pansies. Jorah made a comment about this probably being the only food he’d been able to taste since he’d started drinking something called Dragons Piss.

But this was family now. Anders and Jorah next to him, Sigrun, Oghren, Velanna, Woolsey, Varel and Garevel scattered about the table. Things might have been different if Jorah had followed his original plan to leave as soon as possible to join his lover, an Antivan Crow, in Antiva. Nate was selfishly glad he’d liked them all enough to stay.

After dinner Anders begged off to work in his clinic before bed. His, and by default, Nate’s, suite of rooms was actually there as well. Jorah had set aside a side building for Anders to work. The man was up to an herb garden now, planted by himself and whoever in the inner circle was available. Velanna, though she denied it, had been bringing back seeds from missions in the Wending Wood to expand it. She had also let slip a few Dalish remedies Anders had jotted down. Everybody knew that despite their mixed feelings for each other, Anders was Nate’s lover, and Velanna was one of Nate’s closest friends, and working together was only showing them what he saw in each of them. Sigrun bet they’d be openly working together within another month. Farmers nearby, the Silver Order, and Citizens of Amaranthine, as well as the Knights led by Ser Alec all enjoyed Anders healing services.

Sigrun was going to the library, Oghren needed to go draft a letter to his wife and little Jorah (nugget), elven _Commander_ Jorah smiled and wished them all goodnight before following his dwarfish friend to read over the letter. Velanna and Woolsey were just going to bed, Varel and Garavel just wanted to wrap up troop movements. It wasn’t until everybody had disbanded and Nate was nearly back to his room that he realized he’d neglected to ask anybody but Anders about the dagger, or well, he _told_ Anders. Looking back on it though, nobody seemed to be hiding anything from him. There was no gauging of his reaction. So he just shrugged and went to get his bathing supplies and night clothes from his room.  He’d take a bath, go to sleep, and in a few days he and Anders would be sharing a room again and he’d have to learn how to sleep with someone that close.

When he opened the door it seemed like said door only missed the edge of a table he had nearby. Frowning he entered, and reached for the magical…rod…thing Jorah had given everyone, it reacted to the lights and let them get around in their own rooms. His fingertips only brushed it, which meant it was farther away than usual. He reached, grabbed it and reached up to tap the lamp he had and instead struck it with a ringing blow that came of the damn thing being _right there_ , and not two feet away. Nate’s cursing called Sigrun, who had been returning to her room down the hall for something.

“You alright Nate?” She asked, bustling over.

“I think I’m going mad.”

“Oh.” She sounded pretty tentative, and when he looked at her she was frowning up at him. “Why do you say that?”

Nathaniel just shrugged. “Nothing seems right today. Did I tell you one of my daggers is missing?”

“No? Damn Nate, is that why you wore your backup today? I’m sorry.”

“Does everybody notice what set of daggers I’m wearing? Why are you all so fixated on my weaponry? I’d honestly thought it was one of you messing with me.”

“Cuz they’re your favorite. Everybody knows the Commander gave them to you when he made you his adviser. And we’re all proud. We’ll mess with a bunch of stuff, but stuff like that? Off limits. Like my snow globe, or Anders’s cat.”

Nate nodded. “Well, sorry for disturbing you. I’m just grabbing my bathing supplies for a bath and going to bed. Shouldn’t be much more trouble tonight.”

Sigrun nodded slowly and went back to her room as Nate entered his.

Nathaniel’s second clue that something was off, was that he stubbed, smashed and otherwise hit his feet on every piece of furniture in the room.  The bed, his wardrobe, end tables, armor stands everything.

Eventually he found his basket of toiletries and noticed his razor was missing. Grumbling, he fished a spare out of his end table. With some difficulty as it seemed the end table was turned around, and for a moment he wasn’t sure if there really was a drawer in the table.

Nate made his way down to the baths in the bowels of the Vigil. Not every subterranean floor was deep roads after all, this one seemed to connect to a hot spring, as such, with dwarven plumbing and some magic, they had clean, hot bath water in all the pools. Slipping in, glad that the baths were mostly tamper proof, Nate sighed in relief. No more serious noble assaults, just some extra meetings. Jorah got to be Commander for those, Nate was still an adviser, but also got to be a Warden rather than an aide.

He groaned, sinking deeper to wet his hair and let the hot, mineral rich water lap up his sore back. He entertained the possibility of floating for a bit, simply to get some of the kinks out of his back. Maker he missed being around Anders constantly. With the clinic and the court they hadn’t had near enough time with each other. Their relationship hadn’t suffered, it wasn’t like the lack of sex was killing either of them, it was just lonely. But within the next few weeks things should be back to normal. Still, without Anders working out his stress knots, and Nate not soothing Anders need for affection, they seemed to personally suffer a bit. Nate shook his head, soft huffing laughter escaping, if you had told him two years ago that all he wanted in life was a long, warm, possibly magical, cuddle with his male mage lover, he probably would have laughed so hard he choked, then bought you a drink for the excellent joke.

Clue number four was when he went to pour some soap out of one bottle. It wasn’t the body soap he used, however, it appeared to be his shampoo. Confused, sniffing the puddle of soap in his hand to ensure it wasn’t actually poisoned, but not actually alarmed, he just worked said soap into his hair. He rationalized that he’d get to that eventually anyway. He set the bottle off to the side, and noticed it was indeed the bottle he kept for skin soap, which was much less viscous or sudsy than hair soap. Biting his lip he reached for another bottle. The one with oil to prevent his hair from frizzing, or breaking in the seaside climate. Found the skin soap. Okay, this could work. So he just washed up as usual. And by the time he’d rinsed his hair and body he’d seen that the second bottle was indeed the oil bottle. Frowning he reached for the next bottle, what he usually kept his hair soap in, following logic, if the hair soap was in the body soap container, and the body soap was in the hair oil container, then the hair soap bottle would have the oil.

It was fucking shaving soap. Why did he have so much soap? Snarling under his breath he smeared some of the soap wherever he planned to shave, looked around as if to see someone pointing and laughing at his frustration, then went about shaving.

Reaching for the tin where the shaving soap usually was he found lotion, which he set aside. In the lotion bottle he found his oil, which he applied in irritated jerky movements. He did apply lotion later. Still frustrated that the few meticulously handled things in his life were being screwed with, and stood, grabbing his towel, only to notice his clothes were gone.

Did he just walk down here naked? Is that why Sigrun was so shocked? When did he get undressed? Did he get undressed? He looked down, no, he hadn’t bathed in all his clothes. But what if he had and he just couldn’t see them? This was ridiculous.

Finally frustrated enough to not want to be anywhere near his own rooms he left the keep. It was bitterly cold, he was dressed in only a towel, a few of the night guard of the Silver Order stared, and he really couldn’t give a shit. He walked, barefoot, to the building he and Anders shared, slid inside, bolted the door and tried to scrub his feet on the rug.

“Makers breath, Nate?” Anders in only a pair of sleep pants appeared carrying a candle. “What are you doing here? Where are your clothes?”

He meant to give some form of explanation, but what came out was “Thank the Maker I’m not actually wearing clothes!”

Anders looked concerned. Which, while cute when used on others, really put Nate on edge when directed at him.

“I meant, I wasn’t sure if I…You see.” He scrubbed his face with one hand, rolling his eyes skyward “I think I’m going insane.”

Anders nodded slowly and led him, cold and still very wet, to their bedroom, made him sit on the bed, and washed his feet so he wouldn’t get mud all over the sheets. Anders even grabbed him some spare sleep pants from their wardrobe.

Clothed, clean, and warm in a room with a fire, with his mage staring at him in confusion, Nate actually felt better.

“One of my daggers went missing this morning.” He started “But Sigrun says they’re one of the few things in the Keep nobody messes with, like her snow globe and Pounce.”

Anders nodded, full healer mode.

“And that was weird. But I’m sure it’ll turn up even though it makes me so frustrated I’m bordering on rage.”

Another nod.

“And everything in my room has to be inches from where it’s supposed to be. And an end table is backwards.”

Concerned nod.

“And then I went up to grab my soap, Anders, I have a lot of soap.”

“Nate, we all have the same amount, Velanna has three added creams now, and Sigrun has like, four different hair soap sets. You have the same amount as Oghren, I have more soap than you.”

“It’s a lot when nothing is in the right place.”

“Go on?”

And Nate went on to recount his entire awkward attempt at bathing. Anders grabbed the basket and even tested it for himself. “Well, these are all in the wrong bottles. Did you fill them this way?”

It was like the bottom of the world dropped out. Nate stared for a moment, mouthing “did I fill them that way?” silently.

“Nate, I shouldn’t have asked, I know how anal you are about your organization. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.” Anders said tentatively.

Nate shook his head “I was trying to remember how I filled them. Maybe I did fill them wrong? Some form of spontaneity?”

“I highly doubt that.”

Nate nodded, brow still bunched up in thought.

“And how did you come to be naked here?”

“When I turned around my clothes were gone, and I can’t remember if I dressed or not.”

“Hence the clothing comment. Alright, you sound like you need sleep. So sleep here, hopefully get up early enough to meet Jorah, and we’ll see to your room.” Anders assured, leaning in for a soft kiss. “Want me to work on your neck and shoulders quick?” He mumbled against the other mans mouth.

“Please?”

So Nate got the knots in his back worked out, wrapped his arms securely around Anders, and dozed off quite a bit more happy than he had been the last few nights trying to sleep.

He slept in, predictably.

In fact, he woke up to Jorah, sitting lightly and primly on the side of their bed.

Nate paled, three seconds away from swearing he didn’t blow off an important meeting to screw around with his lover last night. Jorah wouldn’t have given a shit if he rode the Commanders horse to a brothel every night as long as he was back and safe when he needed to be, but blowing off important meeting that he counted on Nate to be at? Not as calm.

Only, Jorah didn’t look angry.

And Anders was gone.

“Budge over.” His Commander stated, worming under the blankets with the human until they were face to face.

Nate should likely have been a bit more concerned about being half naked in bed with his fully clothed Commander, but they had already full body cuddled in nothing but their smalls, with Velanna, a few months ago, so, personal space was out. Nobody cared about seeing anybody naked anymore, and cuddles really helped with nightmares and hypothermia.

“Anders told me an interesting story last night.”

“Last night?”

“Yeah, I was already in bed. Came flying in without a by your leave. Yammering about somebody messing with you.”

“Somebody messing with me?”  


“He was fit to be tied. Somebody gas-lighting, he said.”

“I have no idea what that is.”

“It’s when somebody does things to purposefully make you doubt your own sanity as a form of mental abuse. Not a joke or anything, and it can be a joke, just…Not like this. This isn’t particularly funny at all, you were already stressed and losing sleep.”

“So I’m not going crazy?”

“No. And I’ve set your room back to rights. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought I was going insane and didn’t want to bother you?”

“Dammit Nate. You’re important to me, next time, bother me.” The Commanders eyes fluttered closed, and he sighed. “Of course somebody is messing with you _now_.”

“What’s different? At least they waited until I was out of the most important meetings.”

Jorah flushed. “Well, somebody important is coming to the Keep.”

“Another dignitary? What, did they get _lost_ in the last hoard of them?”

Jorah shook his head, pausing for a moment to nuzzle into Anders’s pillow. Nate couldn’t blame him, it was a fantastic pillow.

“Zevran Arainai.”

“Wait. Zevran Zevran? Of House Arainai? The Crow? Your lover that you’ve been pining for for the last year?”

Jorah gave a halfhearted snarl and batted at the human. “Yes.” He finally admitted, almost shyly. A soft, unfamiliar smile on his face.

“Maybe when he gets here he can help. I promise I will not lose my mind in front of your lover.”

Jorah snorted. But relented, and laid down, determined to catch a few moments of sleep.

Anders leaned on the door frame an hour later, rolling his eyes. Nate slept like a tentacle beast from the sea and Jorah was close. So naturally, the two were wrapped around each other like a living knot. He checked with Varel and once positive they had nothing to do, left them until family dinner.

After dinner, Nate bid Anders farewell and climbed the steps to his room. Hoping that his room had in fact been put to rights.

It was, except for the blonde, tattooed elf on his bed. Blonde and elf may have described Jorah, but this was…Not Jorah.

“Ah. Hello. You have no idea who I am.”

“I’m Nathaniel Howe.” He introduced immediately and involuntarily. Maker the past day had made him strange.

“Hn, Zevran. Zev to my friends. You likely won’t wish to call me Zev.”

“Oh. My apologies, for-“

“Really, don’t apologize to me. I believe that’s my job.”

“You apologize to yourself?”

The look Zevran leveled him with was possibly the most unimpressed one he’d ever gotten.

“Look, it’s been a long few days. If you could just explain why an assassin is in my room?”

Zevran sighed “My Warden writes about you all the time. The others too, but mostly you.”

Nate nodded “Okay.”

“I may have gotten the wrong idea?”

“The wrong idea? Wait, me and Jorah? No, he’s like my older brother!”

Zevran made a distressed noise “See, I know that _now_. After seeing you with _your_ mage. Rather than _my_ mage.”

“Wait.”

“I may have been jealous. A terrible way to be, I assure you.”

“You did the, the gaslighting?”

“Oh, you’ve heard of it then?” Zevran brightened

“No. I actually needed that explained to me. Why?”

“I assume because you didn’t know?”

“No. why did you do that?”

Zevran flinched. “Well, I’m not entirely used to this” he waved his hand in a circular motion “monogamy thing. I’m not used to people being loyal, to me in particular. So when I saw you and my Warden were so close, and with his letters…”

“When did you see us?”

“I have been here for several days. I was attempting to gauge how well you were with surprise attacks. You’re all quite bad at identifying stealth, really. It’s almost impressive.”

Okay, so he would never sleep again. That’d work. “You just, slipped around and watched us all then?”

“Very little watching.  I just went about my business while ‘slipping around’ as you say.”

“Okay, but why go after me?”

“I…May have feared you’d captured my Wardens attention. For good reasons, I might add. You could probably lure a Chantry sister into bed. All, sweet and puppies and whatnot.” Zevran sounded almost perturbed as he extolled Nathaniel’s personality. “I am not a very good man. So naturally, I was threatened by one.”

“You realize we’re both assassins.” Nate pointed out.

“Yes, but in my off time I am a scoundrel, you probably rescue abandoned kittens and bake pies or some such thing.”

“Mostly I practice archery and drink with my friends.”

Zevran made a disturbed noise. “Anyway. I decided to try and give you some flaws in a way of…Winning back our dear Jorah. As it happens, completely unnecessary. Though make no mistake, I am sorry for the misunderstanding.”

“Go find Jorah, tell him everything, and let him deal with you. I’m going to bed.”

Zevran grimaced. “As you say.”

 

Breakfast the next morning was noticeably strained. Zevran sitting by Jorah’s side was looking forlorn, Jorah looked irritated, Nate was stressed, and everybody else was confused.

“I gas-lighted your friend. I’m washing every latrine in the Keep and sleeping in a spare room until further notice.” Zevran admitted toward the end.

Jorah hung back to speak to Nate after the meal. “I’m so sorry. I swear, I talked to him. He feels bad but it’s no excuse.”

“Not really, no.” Nate sighed “Don’t be too hard on him, the idiot loves you. And given time, I think I might like him. He’s pretty cunning.”

Jorah smiled involuntarily “That he is. Just don’t ask him to pick a lock.” He whispered conspiratorially. Before reaching up to clap him on the shoulder “Zev’s my favorite assassin, and you’re my favorite shadow. I hope you two can get over his infantile pranks.”

Nate smiled “I’m sure we will. I’m just irritated now. Go, spend time with your lover, he’s done a lot for you. Mostly unnecessary, but a lot, mostly.”

Jorah snorted. “Fine, twist my arm why don’t you?”

Nate found Anders in the training yard, attempting to explain magic to some of the Silver Order, or, the guardsmen, or the army, whatever the force in the Keep was.

“So you got everything worked out?” He asked upon noticing him.

Nate shrugged “Now that it isn’t happening it’s not a huge deal. He deals with his well-intentioned idiocy and I’ll forgive him. He didn’t actually hurt me. Just freaked me out.”

Anders smiled “But hey. It’s a start. And you’ll never guess what happened!”

Nate smiled indulgently “What?”

“You’re supposed to guess!”

“But if I’ll never guess, why try?” He teased

“Quitter talk, right there.” Anders jabbed “But anyway, Velanna asked f she could help out with the clinic! Well, I mean, she told me she would, and insulted me a bit, but it was _fond_ , damn it!”

Nate laughed and gave Anders a quick kiss and congratulations before moving on to brew some poisons. If the escapist mage and the violent Dalish could become friends, he could like the thrice damned assassin.


End file.
